me I don't care

and I can see that it feels pathetic, 
that today felt magical.
and I'd like to chase one thousand
 spirits with ravenous eyes
and sometimes I'd like to say it never was so
and sometimes I'd like to say that
 today was a perfect day
But sometimes it's easier to pretend it was. 
to close my lids and see perfect days gone by
but there have always been mistakes, accepted or not
but there have been times no one could help me
and there had been times when I asked Jesus to love me
and there have been times the window 
looked perfect on a perfect day.
And I'd like to be a Hazel Motes at times, 
and tell owls I'm am clean. 
I am clean
and have the waitresses say;
I don't give a good goddamn what you think you are.