the characteristics of obeisance
Saturday, Jan. 05, 2002 23:04
So I'm looking back at you at last.After some of these times
and I can't believe you're still there
and I can't beleive you're still around.
I was over there,
hiding from you
I thought you let me go
I figured
you'd given up,
fooled by my disguise.
And there you are, still.
you haven't let me be
and now I'll come face you-
you on your throne,
I waited so long for you to abdicate
but now I'll come subjected.
I know you'll make me forget about my sorrows
I know you'll make me lose my worries
under your shadow
but how could I forget your tyranny?
how could I forget your absolute corruption?
And I'm aware you know me better then I know myself.
I fell back into the mouth of your whale
swallowed and held captive
under your ocean currents
of power
of morose distain
of your cannibalistic tendencies
of your nonsense
and towers and towers and towers of babel and love.
Your words hurt because they make sense.
And that will always snare me
that will always be my bait
that will always be the suffocation of my fire.
I horded my small coins
cupped in my hands
my back turned to you
hiding my face from your truth
but I'll never tell you how much it hurt, fighting against looking back
I'll never tell you how much control you had
I'll never let you know
just how much I needed you
I'll never let on
that you were the best thing
that never happened to me.
last five:
A Winter Letter - Wednesday, Nov. 28, 2007
almost but not quite - Wednesday, Mar. 22, 2006
rural times, blue skies. it feels so warm over my hair - Wednesday, Jun. 01, 2005
smiles and gone - Monday, Feb. 07, 2005
I caught my love in North Carolina - Monday, Nov. 29, 2004