I am the back alley steam vent. I am your inner city at 3am. I am your heartbreak.

Saturday, Oct. 04, 2003 10:55 pm

I could hear her laugh from across the street. Walking with him.

Maybe I should stop taking walks. It's the second time this has happened to me.

Earlier today, I hugged her for the first time in months. Some hours later, I was looking at her across the street with her new boyfriend, and she ignored me. I practically ran to the tavern. My little slice of heaven in the hip and trendy bar area. A dimly lit old man bar that none of the faux elite venture into. The old man at the door just waved me in, he knows me now. I sat at the bar, ordered a porter and a shot of whiskey. It went down in a heartbeat. All of it gone in 5 minutes.

I needed to take the edge off.

It's still so hard. So damn hard. I see her and I see 5 years of our lives together, in love. I can't tell her I love her anymore. I can't smile at her anymore. I can't even wave hello.

5 years of our lives together, in love.

and this is what it has come to.

I wish it could just get a little easier.

I wish she missed me half as much as I miss her.

I wish I could believe that she still loved me like she used to.


.new .older .profile .email .guestbook .soundtrack :: defect

dland exuant omnes your voice drifts away into lost binary alleyways it echoes photography

last five:
A Winter Letter - Wednesday, Nov. 28, 2007
almost but not quite - Wednesday, Mar. 22, 2006
rural times, blue skies. it feels so warm over my hair - Wednesday, Jun. 01, 2005
smiles and gone - Monday, Feb. 07, 2005
I caught my love in North Carolina - Monday, Nov. 29, 2004

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