the calming

Monday, Oct. 13, 2003 11:04 pm

I click on her profile, with hesitation.

"interests: Bobby. Friendster."

I read his name, and even now, even after these months and sucking up all the pain, it doesn't lessen the high voltage shock that runs through my body.

"Interests: Bobby. Friendster."

electrical charge through my nervous system. Then it's gone, and the shakes set in. The deeper breathing. The calming. The calming.

She turned her back on me, and I ruined myself.

"interests: Bobby. Friendster."

She does everything possible to make sure I get bitten if I ever wonder about her. Her existence and my love is a mouse trap.

It's what I get for wondering about her. I hadn't looked at anything she put online for months and months for this exact reason. Bitten. High volatge shock. The deeper breathing. The shakes. The calming. the calming.

I look up from the side of the mountian, and can see it's apex. On top, a sign reads in the distance, "she stopped loving you, so just go back down already."

I look down from the side of the mountain, and a desert is below. Across the distance, there are no signs.

"Interests: Bobby. Friendster."

she does everything possible to post signs that say; "I stopped loving you, so just go back down already."

The shock. The deeper breathing. the shakes. the calming. the calming.


.new .older .profile .email .guestbook .soundtrack :: defect

dland exuant omnes your voice drifts away into lost binary alleyways it echoes photography

last five:
A Winter Letter - Wednesday, Nov. 28, 2007
almost but not quite - Wednesday, Mar. 22, 2006
rural times, blue skies. it feels so warm over my hair - Wednesday, Jun. 01, 2005
smiles and gone - Monday, Feb. 07, 2005
I caught my love in North Carolina - Monday, Nov. 29, 2004

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