one year

you've been haunting me for a year ths month.

got off the bus, leaving west philly, at 10th and chestnut. 3 am.

stumbled into the wawa and bought some late night grub. ate it up. ate it up good.

walked south on 9th street, and passed by the hospital. walked passed a wall, about elbow hight. remembered that wall.

passed by this wall everyday, on the way home from work, I mumbled to myself. Started laughing. Touched the wall as I passed by. Put down my chocolate milk on it. It fell over, pouring the remainder out over it.

I would walk home, and pass this wall everyday. I said, laughing quietly to myself.

I would... I would usually get home before her. I loved seeing her, after being away from her all day long.

I would miss being away from her everyday at work.

my laughing turned into tears. I stumbled down the street, and reached the corner. I saw the apartment door from the corner, and I had flashbacks of day light. Of our apartment door during the day. Of that wall during the day. Of warm summer days walking around with her.

I laughed until I cried.

I used to know I was almost home, when I saw that wall, I mumbled some more.

used to know I was almost home. I would miss her all day. I would miss her if she wasn't home around her normal time.

wiped my eyes as I walked.

don't know where I am now.

I don't know where I am anymore.

I've been lost without you.

I've been lost for a year without you.

it's been a year, and at times, it still hurts just the same as it used to. And I still cry myself to sleep sometime. And I still miss you so damn much. And I still feel so completely lost without you.