"sister, do you know my name?"

I woke up feeling like someone sucker punched me in the jaw. I lifted my head from the pillow and nearly had to crack it back in place. As everything came back online, I surveyed the damage like a crippled battleship returning from war.

eyes: stinging.
neck: stiff
shoulders: tense
arms: limp
hands: shaking
chest: mysterious pains when I inhale
stomach: gurgling
legs: jelly
feet: swollen

diagnosis: fucked up.
reccomended treatment: hot shower & muscle relaxants.

I follow the cure to the letter. Turn on the water, strip, and stand under it for about 15 minutes. Get out, dry off & brush my teeth. Stare the scars on my face, my chest, my stomach, my shaking hands. Throw on some underwear and a t-shirt, take out a pink pill from a film container and swallow it. Lay back down and turn on the TV. Stare at the history channel, watching black & white images of world war 2.

Thirty minutes later, my body liquifies into the blankets, and I'm lost in a half-awake haze of commercials & war documentaries.

buy the john deere mulcher now i saw 23 men killed in less then an hour try video professor it's garanteed to work when that tank blew up we were all happy it gets rid of foul smelling odors caused by cooking and pets he was close enough that i could see the blood spray from his forehead subscribe to the wall street journal we marched for hours in the snow

I hummed a song in my head that had been on repeat for days now;

"everytime I see you, I wonder why... I don't break a couple rules so that you'll notice me."

it's cold out and there's no heat on. I curl under the blankets and rub my eyes.

"I really wanna be your friend, cause I don't really know anyone"

it hums.

"I wish you could be sitting here next to me."