hiding

it's 22:52, but not by the time I'm finished typing this.

I've had two wholly uneventful days. Though I remembered what meaningful thing i was going to type in a day or two ago.

I like the feeling of barricading myself into places. I like the feeling of locking the bathroom windows at night, or finding a quiet, remote place to hide for 5 minutes at work. that kind of silence you get only from hiding. the silence that lets you hear the air around you. every hair on your head moving, or every expanding wrinkle of your nose as your inhale.
the spinal fluids in the back of your neck bubbling, or the grumble of a near empty stomach.
when you blink your eyes and they sound like a great albatross swooping down over you.

sometimes, I can hide like this for a few minutes, and turn off.

there I am, there I am not.
vis-a-vis, it doesn't matter;
I'm hiding from the gods video cameras.

it makes me so happy knowing
that for just 5 minutes
not even they can find me.

then the feeling is gone, just like that.
I feel the need to return,
and that's when I know they're watching again.