postmodern

my eye itches.

it's 1:33pm, saturday afternoon. My girlfriend just made grill cheese sandwiches for us. yum.

monsters, inc. later. hopefully training day as well. Denzel rocks.

it's beautiful out. I quit smoking last night. a bar of all places, too. drank, but not too much.

I'm starting to feel old. Not really bothered by it, but curious. I used to think 50 was dilapidated. Now it just seems like the halfway mark. Mind you, I'm not there yet... 50, that is.

my eye still itches. it's now 1:44pm.

I've finished my grill cheese sandwich. Applying eye drops. back now hurting.

we don't have any furniture in our apartment yet. I say we go to the used back alley shop and find a couch, chairs and a table or two for 100 bucks. She insists on pottery barn.

her astetics are the devil to my lower back.

I hear chopping in the kitchen. The sink's running. I'm coughing. eye's watering. damnit.

what's the cat doing? Oh, she's biting her foot. Better her foot then me. She pulled the curtains down three times already. We need hooks, not these damn spring rods.

We need a couch, damnit.

i have no idea what they're singing about. I'm going to look up a translation online. I hope there is one... maybe I don't want to know what they're saying? I've listened to this album for years, and never really concerned myself with the lyrics. It's mostly instrumental anyway. I think I'm going to look them up now.

This is so egotistical. I've spent the better portion of the last 5 or 6 years trying to shrink and shrink my ego, and this diary is undoing all of that. I need a healthy sense of unimportance to function in this place.

�trivial personalities decomposing in the eternity of print�

perhaps it's worth it, the diary. I've never been able to keep one up. I've tried since.... 3rd, maybe 4th grade? We had candy sales, and various prizes associated with various amounts of candy sold. I sold enough for a couple of things in my tier, and I selected the diary with lock and key. It was brown, and the lock didn't really need the key to open. I wrote two things in it, I remember.

How much I hated one kid in school, and how in love I was with a girl named jessica. This must of been the second or third grade then, as I fell in love with jessica in the first grade. She left to a different school after that, and I never saw her again. I remembered, though, and wrote about it later in that cheap brown diary with the useless lock. Now I'm writing about it all again, in an electronic diary, some 16 years later. nifty.

funny what we'll be doing later on.

2:13pm. looking for lyrics of music. no luck so far. Girlfriend put tribe on. award tour is on now.

2:19pm. can I kick it?

found the translation to the lyrics. not what I expected. interesting, but not what I expected.

2:26. we do it for the strong, we do it for the weak.

Descartes suggested that our human bodies and mind are seperate; deus ex machina or the ghost in the machine. could it be we're corpses haunted by a spirit?

is posthumanism the creation of monsters or the evolution of man?

Mankind evolving itself purposely and with great focus.